I recently completed a big milestone. After a pandemic pivot, I finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. And here I am. Blogging on a site dedicated to investing in the wellbeing and success of K-12 education. As a part of figuring out what I wanted to do, I also had to figure out who I wanted to do it with. Who were my people? Who inspired me, aligned with my own sense of being, and caused me to be better just by their proximity? 

It was a very deep line of questioning my coach took me down, and one I could not immediately answer. But just as you peel back layers of an onion, the coaching process led me to finding my center and my tribe along with it. To be honest, it took my coach some work to get through the layers – limiting beliefs, narratives I had been reiterating, and all the foregone conclusions I had accepted as fact. To get on the other side of all that stuff, I had to take the coaching. At first, I resisted the coaching. My ego and inner self were working in overtime to hang on to the seeds of control, but they were no match for my coach. She called me on the BS, put my feet to the fire, and then dared me to get out of my own way. She also required an action plan designed specifically to move me forward toward the success I was reaching for. Did I mention I completed a huge milestone recently? 

I have spent a great deal of time looking for answers outside of me, creating excuses for why I couldn’t or didn’t do something, and buying into my own limiting beliefs. Turns out our success isn’t about the trappings ‘out there’ and reaching for stuff but falling short, and then labeling ourselves as first place losers. Nope that’s not success, or at least how I choose to experience it, label it, or bottle it. Success is an inside job. It’s actually how you perceive it, how you make meaning of it, and ultimately how it feels to you – how you experience it. And you get to decide. No one else. Just you.  

To illustrate this, consider this parable. There was a farmer who lost his horse. And neighbors came over to say, “Oh, that’s too bad!” And the farmer said, “Good or bad, hard to say.” Days later, the horse returns and brings with it seven wild horses. And neighbors come over to say, “Oh, that’s so good!” And the farmer just shrugs and says, “Good or bad, hard to say.” The next day, the farmer’s son rides one of the wild horses, is thrown off and breaks his leg. And the neighbors say, “Oh, that’s terrible luck!” And the farmer says, “Good or bad, hard to say.” Eventually, officers come knocking on people’s doors, looking for men to draft for an army, and they see the farmer’s son and his leg and they pass him by. And neighbors say, “Ooh, that’s great luck!” And the farmer says, “Good or bad, hard to say.”

The parable of the farmer illustrates a profound truth – our perceptions shape our reality. What we label as good or bad is often a matter of perspective and context. The coaching process helped me understand this deeply. It challenged me to let go of my limiting beliefs and narratives, and to see things from a fresh, unbiased lens.

Through coaching, I discovered that true success is an inside job. It’s not about reaching for external trappings or labels, but about how we perceive and experience life. It’s about finding our center, our tribe, and aligning with our deepest values and sense of purpose.

The journey wasn’t easy – it required peeling back layers, confronting my ego, and embracing uncomfortable truths. But on the other side, I found clarity, authenticity, and a renewed sense of direction. I completed a significant milestone, not because of external circumstances, but because I chose to redefine success on my own terms.

As educational leaders, you have the power to shape not just your own narratives but also those of the students and communities you serve. Embracing coaching and personal growth can be the catalyst for transformative change – in your mindset, your institution, and ultimately, the lives you touch. It’s not about having all the answers, but about cultivating the courage and vulnerability to ask the right questions and be open to new perspectives.

So, I invite you to consider coaching as a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. Dare to step out of your comfort zone, challenge your limiting beliefs, and rediscover your center. Because when we shift our mindsets, we unlock our true potential for success – however we choose to define it.